I came to eat dinner in my halls of residence one day last year when two sisters started laughing at me; I had some food stuck in my beard. They went on to innocently and honestly mock my beard saying it was messy, unnatural and unhygienic. Little did they know the rage that I felt as a result of this and I channeled this rage by unleashing my anger through my pen and out came this poem.

I performed this poem in the Leicester University/DMU Islamic Societies and Eid Celebration and it was received with much laughter and acclaim - Alhamdulillah. Due to popular demand and many requests I have decided to type my poem up and email it to my friends in Islam. Let me remind you all not to be offended as this is no fatwa or religious statement - just a funny poem that spontaneously was produced as a result of my unfortunate experience...

Tushar (12th March 2001]

Glorified be He who beautifies women with long locks of hair

And Men with long beards.

There is beauty in the beard

Aye, there is beauty in the beard!

When the lion roars all the animals submit

For the lion is the king of the jungle,

The lion with its glorious mane

And a Muslim man grows his mane in pride

Showing the rest of humanity that he is to be respected.

Can one imagine a lion without its mane?

Nay, thou canst not!

Then imagine a man without his beard.

Woe to worldly women who mock the beards so!

Desiring husbands with clean shaven faces.

Woe to women who mock the Prophet's Sunnah

In the name of hygiene, neatness and smooth texture.

Indeed the women of this world cannot like the beard

But she who wants Paradise adores the beard!

A beard is a gift given to man

Something only he can grow; a woman never can!

When he ponders, he gently strokes it;

When he eats, it stores food;

When he is with kids, they play with it adoringly;

When he is with his wife, she fondles it lovingly;

When the enemy see it, fear is struck in their hearts!

Ah! there is indeed beauty in the beard!

All the Prophets had beards - yes they did!

Muhammad  had a beard - so big! so big!

All the companions had beards - o yes! o yes!

All the sages had beards - I know! I know!

All the wise have beards - tis true! tis true!

All the pious have beards - you see! you see!

All the Muslims have beards!? - if only! if only!

Who did not have beards? The kafirun!

Who had clean shaven faces? The kafirun!

Who grew their moustaches? The kafirun!

"And what did our Prophet order?" I hear you ask

He ordered us to lengthen the beard and trim the moustache!

Lengthen the beard and trim the moustache!

What greater reason than this can there be

The fact that our Prophet told us to see

That we make ourselves appear to the world

As full bearded men with honour untold.

O Muslim brother! Why do you desire to look like a woman

When your blessed facial hair is the differece between you and the opposite gender?

O poor Muslim brother! Why do you imitate the kafir

Instead of following the Prophet of Islam?

O silly Muslim sister! Why are you so blind?

Infatuated with Bollywood actors who have no mind!

O wretched sister! Are you not scared of your choice?

You would rather have a feminine monkey instead of an exalted manly ape!

So indeed I love my beard

And adore the curls and tangles

Which no oil, gel or superglue can ever straighten -

My glorious long, curly, messy, fluffy beard!

The playhouse for kids;

The envy of Malaysian people*

And the beloved of Allah!

*This referred to my running joke with my Malaysian friends that they genetically couldn't grow long, bushy beards!

I maybe rejected by worldly women because of this hair on my face

But who cares! For my Mum loves it and she puts all such sisters to disgrace!

Be patient Muslim brothers, who shun the trendy look for a Prophetic pose

Paradise, with the wide eyed Houris, is our final abode!